Only in Portland

It was late-ish, I was in Downtown Portland and I could hear my heels clickity-clacking down the street. Soon enough, I heard another set of clickity-clacks, speeding up to me. The lady smiled at me and said, “Hey, let’s walk together! So we don’t look so alone.” So I let her walk with me. She asked where I was going, I told her, Berbati’s Pan, to see a burlesque show. She was a bit alarmed that I wasn’t exactly sure of the address, just sort of sure. She insisted that the street I was looking for was actually on the other side of the river.

She offered to give me a ride in her car. I tried to talk my way away from her, but she refused to let me go without first trying to use the pay phone to call 411 to ask for directions. (It didn’t work.) Then she stopped a poor lady passing by, jabbering on her cell phone.

The first lady, asked cell phone lady if she knew where Berbati’s Pan was. Then she insisted she ask the person on the other side of the phone to look it up. I stood there dumbfounded as the cell phone girl actually slowly and carefully spelled the bar’s name. She soon told me the exact address and gave me directions on how to get there from where we were all standing. At this point a very drunk homeless man came charging through, declaring that it was rude for us to stand in the middle of the sidewalk, so I was glad to be surrounded by others.

The lady looked a bit defeated that she was wrong about the address and would not be able to save a damsel in (not really) distress. I thanked them both and headed over to the club.

I realized after, that I did not learn their names, so, Lady #1: You freaked me the hell out, but thanks for caring so much about my safety. and Lady #2: Thanks. And thank you for not decking us when we asked you for help.

9 Responses to “Only in Portland”


  1. 1 VR

    But how was the burlesque show?

  2. 2 Akemi "spiritual entrepreneur" @ Yes to Me

    Hi, I’m still kinda new around here (moved from out-of state last October), and just found this blog. Love your story. The downtown geography is confusing for me, so I could well be the person been lost . . .

  3. 3 jayfrom1800free411

    As colorful as the experience was, you could’ve just called 1-800-FREE411 and asked for “Directions” at the Main Menu. Normally, it’s meant for driving directions, but Portland’s downtown is kind of small and you could have easily walked it. The number is free.

  4. 4 @SharonG

    Hey, cool! I have friends who were in that show. Berbati’s is also the first venue I ever worked in Portland. Hope you had a great time! Next time I would suggest you swing into the Shanghai for some post-show drinks. It’s my friends great bar, and I think you would really like it.

  5. 5 Team Splashi

    I love Portland, this is great place to live, work,party,drink and/or all things together.
    I (beer) portland

  6. 6 WIll Radik

    Nothing like a helpful crazy lady to add some spice to a saucy evening. Hrm.

  7. 7 Dylan Stark

    As scary as Portland can seem sometimes I love that people are (in general) pretty nice and willing to be helpful PORTLAND ROCKS much love to this blog
    Portland Playground

  8. 8 Max

    Hey Dawn,

    Not so much a post as a desperate measure. I’m looking to perhaps move to Portland after college (one semester left!) and wanted to know more about the city – but the image file with your contact email isn’t showing up on my computer. Any way I can contact you to ask a few of questions about this seemingly lovely city?

  9. 9 James

    If you are looking for a great thing to do friday April 3, think about seeing this new film Tokyo! which is showing at the Cinema 21 theatre. Tokyo!, which is a triptych directed by Michel Gondry, Leos Carax, and Bong Joon-ho, portrays peoples’ unique relationships as they work and live in the huge city Tokyo.

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